A massively overlooked milestone here at Hartnett HQ: The Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros lyrics post turned 1 last Sunday. That stupid thing attracted 13,147 page views in its first year, 24.8 percent of all traffic across the entire site during the same period. Slightly more than 94 percent of visits to the post arrived via Google. Where would I be without Flight of the Conchords? Watch the HBO version video by mashing your mouse right here.

Well, not so much this year as this Saturday. Florida vs. Florida State in Gainesville at 5 p.m. Battlestar Galactica: Razor at 9 p.m. Bonus metaphysical conundrum: Who/what would prevail in a confrontation, Tim Tebow or Battlestar Pegasus?

“When you cut yourself shaving, it’s gonna bleed for a week. When you hurt your shoulder like Tim Tebow did, it’s gonna hurt for a week.”

WTF, Gary Danielson?

He also insisted on several occasions that “This is still a football game,” lest the viewer mistakenly conclude that, after two and a half hours of football, the teams were now engaged in a cricket match. And he once referred to Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford as Mike Bobo, who last played for the Bulldogs a decade ago. Perhaps most perplexing was his mangling of the fable of the scorpion and the frog, which, apart from being creatively reinterpreted to involve a scorpion and a tortoise, was inexplicably employed to illustrate an indecipherable point about Tebow’s tendency to run the ball.

Gary, seriously, have your brain checked out first thing Monday morning.

Spiderpig lyrics:Spiderpig, Spiderpig
does whatever a Spiderpig does
can he swing, from a web?
no he can’t, he’s a pig
look out, he is a Spiderpig

I’m the mother flippin’ Rhymenocerous
My beats are phat and the birds are on my back
And I’m horny
I’m horny
If you choose to proceed you will indeed concede
Cos I hit you with my flow
The Wild Rhino Stampede.

I’m not just wild, I’m trained,
Domesticated
I was raised by a rapper and rhino that dated
And subsequently procreated
That’s how it goes
Here’s the Hiphopopotamus
The hip hop hippo

They call me the Hiphopopotamus
My lyrics are bottomless

They call me the Hiphopopotamus
Flows that glow like phosphorous
Poppin’ off the top of this esophagus
Rockin’ this metropolis
I’m not a large water-dwelling mammal
Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis?
Did Steve tell you that, perchance?
Steve.

My rhymes and records they don’t get played
Because my records and rhymes they don’t get made
And if you rap like me you don’t get paid
And if you roll like me you don’t get laid.

My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment
I made all of the ladies in the area pregnant
Yes, sometimes my lyrics are sexist
But you lovely bitches and hoes should know I’m trying to correct this.

Other rappers dis me
Say my rhymes are sissy.

Why? Why? Why?
What?
Why exactly?
What? Why?
Be more constructive with your feedback, please. Why?
Why?

Why, because I rap about reality?
Like me and my grandma drinking a cup of tea?
There ain’t no party like my nanna’s tea party.
Hey! Ho!

I’m the motherflippin’
I’m the motherflippin’
I’m the motherflippin’

Who’s the motherflippin?

I’m the motherflippin’
I’m the motherflippin’
I’m the motherflippin’
Motherflippin’