It really is a shame that one so often sees the Gadsden flag in the hands of nutjobs these days, because it’s always been a personal favorite. Consider what Benjamin Franklin wrote of the rattlesnake as a symbol for America:

“She never begins an attack, nor, when once engaged, ever surrenders: She is therefore an emblem of magnanimity and true courage.”

Well, then.

Spotted at the McDonald’s just down the street from my office: “STEAK MCSKILLET BURRITO $289″

To be fair, it was outside a Wal-Mart. An old Wal-Mart, at that, not even a Wal-Mart Supercenter, or Classy Wal-Mart, as I like to call it. The extra chrome and trailer hitch skull with light-up eyes let you know right away that the driver of this Hummer H2 is a totally awesome dude who avidly follows professional wrestling. The use of two parking spaces confirms that he also is a true American patriot who no doubt supports the troops. I suspect he also has No Fear of nuthin’.

Notice that the driver of the Ford F-250 to the right, a vehicle only 1.3 inches narrower than the Hummer, managed not only to fit into a single space, but to back in, as well. Not only is this totally un-awesome behavior, it also reflects a dangerous unsupportiveness of the troops. Not cool, dude.

By “us” I mean Floridians, of course. Anecdotal evidence strongly suggests there’s something just sort of off about us, but here’s a fact that explains a lot: Nine percent of Floridians have some form of mental illness, which is three times the national rate, according to Florida Atlantic University’s Center for Urban and Environmental Solutions.

So that’s good.

On a related note, Matt pointed out this remarkable headline, which I think really sums up this great state of 18 million souls: Juror asks to watch less porn in obscenity trial. But that’s Tampa. One can only assume that a Miami jury would request more than 8.5 hours of spectacularly reprehensible pornography.

It’s a bit small and I know there isn’t much detail, but that’s a little graph of my actual mileage between Jan. 1, 2006 and May 25, 2008 above, with my lifetime average of 26.802 miles per gallon in green and my rolling average in red. Notice the run of awesome tanks I’ve been on since last summer, each of which topped 30 mpg, with a peak of 35.4. Amazing what you can do by just slowing down. And by not driving a stupidly huge SUV with a name like Blockade or Onslaught on the premise that, though you have nothing to tow and no particular need for much more cargo space than that available in a Toyota Corolla, a 6,400-pound Hummer H2 with a 6-liter V8 pumping out nearly 400 horsepower and enough torque to pull an aircraft carrier is an entirely sensible purchase given that your driveway is a bit steep and occasionally covered in leaves.

Some further reading spotted in the past few days: A Washington Post story about mileage-competitive hybrid owners, a Los Angeles Times report on booming hybrid sales, a New York Times story suggesting Americans might finally be changing their behavior in response to “high” gas prices and another NYT story on the toll rising fuel prices are taking on truckers. While I’m linking all over the place, why not check out this little gas-price story I wrote back in 2004?

Just in case you’re not friends with him on Facebook, or even if you are and missed his request, Ed Barber needs your current contact information so you can receive information about the Alligator Alumni Association. Send it to cebarber AT alligator DOT org.

… when they of course would actually look pretty much exactly like this …

Maybe we should just have ice cream cake.

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Is Florida a great state, or what? Now if you’ll excuse us, we Palm Beach County residents have another presidential election to attend to.