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The unwanted home-delivered free weekly newspaper: Worse than famine, war, hair loss

There’s a chain of free weekly newspapers called Hometown News that circulates in six counties here on Florida’s east coast. Three weeks ago, without prompting, they started dropping their stupid paper on my doorstep. For three weeks, I’ve tried to convince the Hometown News that I do not want their stupid paper dropped on my doorstep. For three weeks, I have failed to convince the Hometown News that I do not want their stupid paper dropped on my doorstep. Am I being punished for something? For hating stupid free weekly newspapers dropped on the doorsteps of stupid free weekly newspaper-hating homeowners, perhaps?

Seriously, what kind of fantasy-land circulation figure is the Hometown News selling its advertisers? I don’t want the stupid paper littering my doorstep, which makes the ads they’ve attempted to force on me worse than worthless. The paper’s crap, totally non-existent customer service actually makes me want to avoid its advertisers. Actively, passionately.

UPDATE: In response to this message I sent to their circulation e-mail address …

“Please stop delivering your paper to my house. Forever. Please never deliver your newspaper to my house ever again. Ever. I live at [just a little address redaction, carry on]. Just to reiterate, I do NOT want to see your paper on my doorstep ever again.”

… the Hometown News’ crack customer service team helpfully responded with:

“Thank you.”

That’s it, the entire text of their response. Do you suppose that’s a “Chillax you unreasonably angry, mentally unstable moron, we’ll stop dropping our stupid paper on your doorstep already” sort of thank you? Or is it more like a “I’m acknowledging your request, however we fully intend to continue dropping our stupid paper on your doorstep” type of thank you?

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  1. Marc Chamot | Apr 5, 2008 | Reply

    A SOLUTION for repeat stops from unwanted Free Dailies and other newspapers delivered to your home.

    We had the same problem with the Independent in the beginning. What made our independent delivery personnel improve was we were sued a numerous of times, taken to small claims court in San Francisco and San Mateo counties and lost every time.

    People would take us to small claims with their rolled up newspapers and copy of letters requesting stoppages, and sue us up to $80.00 per occurrences and judges always awarded it in their favor. And then we would take it out of our independent contractors paychecks and they learned pretty quick about stopping unwanted newspapers!

    We had one guy in San Mateo county California win a whopping $120.00 for accumulated repeat stopped deliveries. All you have to do when you sue in small claims court show proof of mailing of a letter requesting a stop for these unwanted newspapers and if it is not stopped. Sue for littering of your property and cleanup costs by you having them to pick up trash from your property and
    keep the newspapers for proof!

    http://marcchamot2.blogspot.com/2008/04/stopping-unwanted-free-newspapers-and.html

  2. William M. Hartnett | Apr 7, 2008 | Reply

    I did finally get them to stop bringing their unwanted free paper to me, but that’s handy advice I’ll keep in mind!

  3. Anna | Jun 11, 2008 | Reply

    Response to an Um-American Unintelligent Blog by a Sorry Cat Obsessed Hermit -
    I think your blog is offensive and uneducated. To say a delivered newspaper is worse than war and famine is just an uneducated statement. I am sure a soldier in the middle of war would much rather have the problem of a newspaper to pick up. If you were trying to be funny or dramatic you could have thought of something different to compare it to. I cant believe you went as far as to write a blog because you had to pick up a newspaper at then end of your driveway. OOOO, what a horrible problem. If it is so horrible, why don’t you take a trip to Iraq or Darfur. I’m sure you would agree that a free newspaper is better than a life like that. It’s not even like you have to pick it up everyday, it’s once a week.
    I think you need a hobby or something. Or maybe medication, because it’s really not that big of a deal. When my friend showed me your article, I couldn’t believe my eyes. There are so many problems in the world, and the Hometown News does a lot for the community. Why don’t you go and try to harness some of the energy you use on hating a free, loved newspaper and help the community, or maybe the famine and war you so unintelligently compared it to. Or write another article about your cat, that seems to be pretty important to you. I think you have your priorities out of wack.

  4. William M. Hartnett | Jun 11, 2008 | Reply

    So you agree the Hometown News is, in fact, worse than hair loss? At the risk of sounding “Um”-American, thanks for the affirmation!

    To be fair, though, you did land on this page by searching Google for the phrase “hometown news unwanted,” so I’m not sure what else you expected to find.

  5. Anna Vasquez | Jun 13, 2008 | Reply

    I did not search for your page, my friend found it and showed it to me. I did not acknowledge the hair loss statement because it seemed ridiculous, even more ridiculous than comparing it to war and famine. I don’t know where you come up with these things. I just don’t get how someone could possibly go as far as to write an entire article because they had to pick a paper up once a week at most. If you read it, it actually as good articles in it. The Hometown News also helps in community outreach efforts. If you needed help in raising money or publicizing one of your community events, the Hometown News would jump at the opportunity to help a good cause.
    For example, Molly’s House, this weekend the Hometown News is so generously helping Molly’s House raise money by having a community event in their parking lot. Look at their website, http://www.mollyshouse.org/ it is a great organization. Anything they can do to help the community, they do. So why don’t you look at the organization before you go bashing them because you had to pick up a paper. They are good people and a great company just producing a free paper for people in the community who would like it. If you don’t want it, recycle it.

  6. William M. Hartnett | Jun 13, 2008 | Reply

    So your friend searched for “hometown news unwanted.” Maybe she’s the one you should be giving your “it’s great and I’m not just saying that because I work there and I’m typing this on a computer with a Hometown News IP address” pitch to, as opposed to a stranger and “Um-American Unintelligent … Sorry Cat Obsessed Hermit.”

    Did you catch the part in the original post where I mentioned how I tried for three weeks to get them to stop delivering the paper to my house? And how they didn’t respond and continued to bring the paper? You wrote: “If you don’t want it, recycle it.” How about if I don’t want it, and repeatedly try over the course of three weeks to have it stopped, that the people delivering it actually honor my request and stop, or at least return my phone calls?

    Charity is great, but decent customer service isn’t a bad idea for a for-profit company. I don’t think your advertisers would appreciate paying for a particular audience reach when your circulation advice is “if you don’t want it, recycle it.” Ads that go unseen straight from the doorstep to the recycling bin don’t do local businesses much good, do they?

    I don’t know what you call unwanted paper dropped on your lawn despite repeated requests that the person doing so stop, but I call it litter.

  7. Anna Vasquez | Jun 23, 2008 | Reply

    I know you haven’t been getting the paper, and you work for the Palm Beach Post. So why don’t you just take this down? For 3 weeks! that means 3 days, you tried to stop the paper. It’s a weekly, not daily paper. Do you think that maybe you overreacted? I could understand you are mad if maybe you are disabled and cant pick the paper up, if that is the case I am sorry. If that’s not the case and you really are just mad because you had to pick it up 3 times then I also am sorry for that. But it’s really not a big deal. I get the daily papers weekly edition, and I don’t complain. They deliver it without a subscription. So all I am saying, there are bigger problems in the world to blog about than having to pick up a paper 3 times and the problem was resolved.

  8. William M. Hartnett | Jun 23, 2008 | Reply

    I guess it takes a sharp eye to notice that every single page on this site says in the top right corner that I work for The Post.

    This post is five months old. The only traffic it gets is from you coming back every few days to leave a new comment. Literally no one else but you visits this post anymore. I can only suggest that if you don’t like it, you should consider browsing your way to one of the billions of other pages available on the web. Or you can continue coming here to argue with a stranger.

  9. Jon | Jul 22, 2008 | Reply

    I love the history of this post!

    I have the same issue with a local Carmichael, CA paper. Only, I’ve called five times for the last month and a half asking them to stop leaving their paper on my driveway. Each time, I’m assured it won’t be delivered again, yet each Sunday the paper faithfully appears. What is it that makes it so hard to fulfill my request? Do they use trained monkeys to deliver my paper?

    Anyway, I’m tired of being nice and I appreciate the small claims advice.

  10. Thomas Marcel | Aug 24, 2008 | Reply

    The bogger’s comments are narrow, spiteful, personal and reflect a minority view on this topic. Here’s why: I am the managing editor of a several free weeklies in suburban-rural northern New England. The complaints I receive (very rare) are typically from opinionated readers who primarily don’t like the political opinions of the paper–it challenges their world view and God forbid they have their view of things challenged. But I’ve learned that if the free paper reflects their views, they don’t seem to complain. Narcissus loves to gaze int he shimmering pool, eh? Also, the moonbats (plenty of them in this part of the USA) who claim “unwanted” papers despoil the environment are a small, small segment of a minority of people who don’t want “free” papers. (I would challenge every one of them in court if they want to do battle–I have deeper pockets.) On the other hand, it is important that editors of free papers include intelligent content. Shoppers have a purpose but they are rarely read except for a few ads; people pick up papers, even free ones, primarily for information–not ads. Free weeklies do the dirty local job that dailies refuse to do–cover small groups such as Scouts and Little League, church groups, or provide opposing (usually conservative) viewpoints, etc. In rural areas, dailies ignore solid, all-American groups such as the 4-H Club and Grange. Why? It’s as if some of these rural dailies want to flip the bird at most of their readers. No wonder they’re losing circulation! The problem as I see it is that urban elites run daily papers. Perhaps that was always the case but it’s just more apparent today. With most dailies, their reader numbers are in decline–even freefall–whereas free community weeklies (with bonafide news) are on the rise. As a journalist, I’d rather ride with a winner, not a loser.

  11. William M. Hartnett | Aug 24, 2008 | Reply

    @Deeper Pockets: This “bogger” is amazed by how spectacularly off topic your comment is. The reason I don’t want the free weekly paper is irrelevant, as is content and quality. They dropped it on my doorstep, I didn’t want it, and for three weeks they ignored my repeated attempts to get them to stop delivering it.

    Ramble as inexplicably as you want, but nonexistent customer service is nonexistent customer service, and bad business no matter what your industry is. But thanks for once again reviving a seven-month-old post. Keep those ad impressions coming!

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