Three things currently burning up the tech, pop culture and media sections of my Google Reader, and which I’m incredibly tired of hearing about:

> UNRELENTING IPHONE INSANITY
It debuts June 29, has only one button and instantly makes my WinMo Moto Q, iPod, Volkswagen, coffee grinder and every computer I’ve ever owned stupidly obsolete. It’s a seamless, revolutionary melding of computer and gadget. I acknowledge these points as fact, and freely admit that the iPhone is one sexy mofo. But enough with the hype, already. My main problem: The damn thing is available only from Cingular-is-now-the-new-AT&T.

Above all, this is what I want from my mobile phone: The ability to place and receive calls. In several years of experience in South Florida with the carrier formerly known as Cingular, this standard somehow proved unattainably high on anything resembling a consistent basis. And the Cingular network after a hurricane? MIA. I switched to Verizon this year, and there’s absolutely no way that a $500 4 GB iPod with a phone and slick web browser stuffed in it will convince me to turn back.

> STORIES MARKING THE 40TH ANNIVERSARY OF ‘SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND’
Was that really an essay by Aimee Mann about Sgt. Pepper on the op-ed page of The New York Times on Sunday? Yes, it’s a seminal album, the fountainhead from which so many ear-meltingly bad concept albums emerged. Boomer newspaper and magazine editors, I get it. The album represents not just a pivotal moment in rock history, but in your own lives. I can relate. I feel the same away about Europe’s 1986 album The Final Countdown, released two weeks after my eighth birthday. Incidentally, look for my 40th anniversary tribute to The Final Countdown in your neural news delivery implant in May 2026.

> RUPERT MURDOCH’S ATTEMPT TO BUY DOW JONES
Dow Jones. Rupert Murdoch. I yawn. Put The Simpsons or The Shield on the table, and I’ll start paying attention. Joe Nocera certainly painted a convincingly unpretty portrait of Dow Jones management a couple weeks ago, so I don’t see what all the shouting is about. Dig yourself a hole and you’ll have to lie in your own bed and eat your cake, too, as I often say.

So that’s three things I’m so sick of reading about that I took the time to write about them myself. Makes perfect sense. And, lest you think this post was a little more than a cheap attempt to load up a post with zeitgeist-y topics to see how many suckers wind up on my site, I have only this to say in my defense: Paris Hilton, Nintendo Wii, American Idol, Halo 3, Lindsay Lohan rehab, Arcade Fire, Sopranos, PlayStation 3, NBA Finals. And that’s that.

Britney Spears.